My Search For Meaning

This is a philosophically wise book, answering questions of meaning that have haunted me since I was small. The book is woven through the author’s experiences as a Holocaust survivor, revealing philosophical thoughts about survival, freedom, and meaning. At a time when the world situation seems deteriorating, with a worsening economy and raging wars, and my personal life is suddenly in a difficult state, reading the insights in the book has made me feel reflective. I don’t consider myself easily moved, but while reading this book, I was deeply shaken multiple times.

The writing throughout the book is rational, restrained, and concise, with limited emotional embellishment. It’s hard to imagine that the manuscript was completed by the author in just nine days after being released from the concentration camp where he endured three years of torture. According to the author’s description, writing this book was akin to a psychotherapy session, closely related to the “logotherapy” or therapy of meaning he proposed.

The author, Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, gradually introduces the concept of logotherapy by explaining his observations of the survival and psychological status of his fellow inmates and himself, integrating his professional research in psychiatry and psychology. He argues that even in the most miserable conditions and under severe physical and mental exploitation, people have the freedom to make choices, and this freedom bears witness to the meaning of their existence.

One experience he recounts touched me deeply.

In a gruelling job, Frankl and his fellow inmates support each other as they march through the cold, dark night, with the guards snarling at them and the ground muddy beneath their feet. In this harsh environment, a fellow inmate mentions “wives,” and Frankl’s thoughts begin to drift away. He envisions his wife’s smiling and encouraging image against the starry sky as dawn approaches. Although his wife, who was nine months of pregnant when being sent to a concentration camp, and he never knew if she was alive or dead at that time, he realizes:

“Love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire” “…how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved.”

This thought shocked me. I might have felt a stronger sense of desperation if I had the contemplation of beloved and compare the imaginary with the reality. While the author believes that the contemplation of beloved can witness the love itself, so that it can fill up one’s spiritual word therefore they can still fight with the hardship no matter how bad the situation is. I’m really into the idea that love can be generated via one’s longings. It’s true that love may not be evaluated but can be witnessed. This thought is similar to another thought that the author brings up later in the book that happiness is supposed to be a natural product. Frankl states:

If I had been contemplating a loved one in that dire circumstance, comparing my imagination to reality, I might have felt an even stronger sense of despair. While Frankl believes that the contemplation of a beloved can embody love itself, filling one’s spiritual world and helping them endure hardship, regardless of the situation. I resonate deeply with the idea that love can be generated through contemplation. I believe that love cannot be evaluated, but it can be witnessed. This idea is similar to another concept Frankl discusses later in the book: happiness is a natural byproduct. Frankl states that:

“…it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. ”

This understanding allows me not only to feel love but also to recognize that my own spiritual world is valuable and that my existence, in approaching love and happiness, has a subjective place rather than being a passive recipient of love in the past thought.

Another touching story illustrates this from a different perspective.

Frankl once had a chance to escape from the concentration camp, but just before he was about to leave, he saw a previous patient he had rescued looking at him with sorrow and reproach, as if he could see that he was soon to escape. Prompted by an inner turmoil, his heart suddenly resolves to stay, a decision that brings him an particular sense of tranquility.

I understand that this tranquility stemmed from him taking back the initiative to make choices. Frankl, despite the unknown risks and dire consequences, chose to follow his heart. This is a kind of spiritual liberation. Frankl notes that concentration camp inmates tended to avoid making decisions because split-second choices could mean life or death, leading them to leave all decisions to fate. This resulted in apathy, a terrible psychological state. However, by making his own choice, Frankl was able to reconnect with his own existence.

“… everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Just as Frankl found meaning through his work in psychiatry and psychological research, he saw his manuscripts as his only hope of survival, often fantasizing about himself as a lecturer on his research findings. The sense of meaning helped him endure the greatest hardships.

No matter how difficult the circumstances, there is always the possibility of making a choice, and in the process of making that choice, one can find inner freedom. The pursuit of this spiritual freedom also allows one to witness and find the meaning of life. This connects to the earlier story where love is witnessed and found, emphasizing the importance of one’s own existence throughout the process.

Even in adversity, where one seems to be deprived of many choices, one still has the freedom to make their own decisions, from everyday matters to larger life goals. Making one’s own choices to witness the spiritual freedom is crucial. These thoughts help me prevent self-loathing during tough times and I believe will keep impacting future life when hard times are over and things are better . Frankl suggests that the sense of meaning can provide spiritual fulfillment and motivate one to overcome pain and difficulty. And meaning in life can be found through creativity (e.g., work and art), experience (e.g., love and nature), or attitude (in the face of unavoidable suffering). This thought has profoundly inspired me especially in the difficult times.